about pain and other pleasures

From time to time I define pleasure as being a pain free moment .

Today pleasure is:

• walking without feeling like crying for every step I make.
• dancing without fearing pain.
• sleeping like a baby without being terribly uncomfortable.

So it seems I that take pleasure from the small things that become a privilege in front of the idea of pain. I don't know if i'm living in pleasure with the fear of pain or in pain with the joy of pleasure. I just know that today i'm experiencing a level that does make me cry when i walk, that does transform the idea of dancing in an insanity and does keep me away from sleeping, even when my body needs it after a few white nights.

Pain level now : + .

March, 8th

I bought a flower pot for my mom today on my way back from university and I gave her the flowers with snow on the petals. I've never expected to experience any more snow this year, especially after moving to Barcelona. But surprisingly i am. It started this morning and it still goes on. And it's March. And yes, it's strange.

No Locus

I have no idea where should i position myself in space anymore.

Tuesday at noon i was in Bucharest, enjoying a beautiful day in the park with a special friend (while eating croissants with green walnuts yogurt - the olfactory memory will stay with me for a very long time). Then, without even realising, I've spent my evening in Rochester and had the feeling that between morning and evening weeks have passed.

Now, a few days after, i have the same feeling of displacement that makes me lose my time notion, together with the spatial one. In the morning I've enjoyed my coffee and apple crumble in Rochester, but now i find myself writing this from Barcelona.

It's not that i don't like going around and traveling, not even close to that, but every time i get back to one place or another i have the feeling that i never left. And this makes everything confusing. I suppose that a few more of these trips will change my perception and everything will seem normal but till then i can't do anything but contemplate the nature of modernity. Or better said altermodernity . It all happens just as Bourriaud explains, and i am living it. If i say it a few more times i'll almost get used to it. Haha. Although now I have other things to get used to : a new school and a new language. And this is a whole new set of experiences on its own.